awesome. sooo deep & poetic. i like how she listens to the ocean & has paintings in her room... maybe someday i'll live by an ocean. i never saw one yet, only in movies or on TV. beautiful story : )

--
SpOoKTaStiC HaLLoWeeN ALL women are doLLs

very nice XD

First this is to AutumnRainDoLL. I hope you get to see the ocean soon. It's one of the most beautiful creations on this planet and it's the oldest creation on the earths crust. The one where all life on earth began. There's something that feels so wonderfully enchanting and holy but cozy when I think about the ocean that way. So I hope you get to see as many oceans (Even though there's really only one ocean, divided up in to regions. Just like Europe and Asia are divided on the same landmass) as possible on this world since it truly is one of earths natural wonders.

Now to the story!!!

Once again you have created a peice of liturature that I can smell and taste and feel in my head as I read along the lines with my eyes. Why so short though? Did it describe all that was needed to be said in three paragraphs? I think it did. It was like a glimps in to this girls life that she lived in glimpses, and forgotten memories. But what are you trying to say about her kife in reation to the ocean?
Her room full of stars and half finished stories. Why stars? Why not something related to the ocean. Do they relate in the way that the sky at night looks like it's own ocean? And what about the half finished stories? Are they only half finished because the endings are muddled up in her forgotten memories of the ocean? Or am I just reading in to that too much?

But I also must ask. Why the ocean? Is it for the same reason that I described the ocean to AutumnRainDoLL? That it truly is the deepest, richest, holyiest, enchantingest(That's not a word. It just fits the pattern) and yet coziest of all the seperate entities that make this planet the earth we know? This girl is connected to the sea in ways that almost make it seem like her very soul is the sea. Does she forget everything she thinks about because it is related to the ocean, or if not the ocean, something still not human? Asking this got me thinking something else. When the girl is in this trance, lying on the beach connected with the ocean, she stops breathing. Biology shows that all plants and animals use oxygen in ome way. Plants create oxygen from carbon dioxide, and all animals, including fish, breath in oxygen to keep the levels to normal that we need in our blood. Fish just need a lot less, since they get a lot less through their gills. Okay back to the story idea and where this is leading. The ocean. Though it contains many living creatures using oxygen within it, the ocean itself, the whole dihydrogen-monoxide and Sodium Chloride part(Water and salt), is not really alive. But it is alive in the sense that humans personify the ocean and pagan religions belive the ocean has a soul. So when the girl stops breathing, it's like she is giving up her human self and conecting with the oceans soul, a non-human entity that does not need to breath. And every time she comes out of her trance and breathes again, she is once more connected witht he human world and not the ocean, therefore forgetting all of the mysteries that the ocean shared with her in those transient thoughts. She can't remember because in order to do so, she must forget herself as a human and become part of the ocean. Same thing with her dreams. There is a physical unhuman element about dreams that enable her to connect with that world and not the human one. But when she is back here on earth as a human, she cannot recall what her dreams were since they are not a part of her human world.
Now I am a christien and do not personally believe that the ocean has it's own soul. I believe that it is a part of ONE god like all other things on this planet created by god. But in this story, looking at the ocean from my interpreted perception that could be completely different from what you were actually trying to say, I think th whole soul thing fits well. Especially in relation to this girls life by the sea.

What do ya think Ellyssa? Am reading in too much on what the deep meaning of this story is? Or am I completely off with what the deep meaning of this story is. Eiher way, I would very much like to know what you were thinking when you wrote it.
Sorry if this was really long!! Maybe I should start a critics journal instead of blogs about life. The this won't just come up on the message board, but in it's own nice little place with a title too. Hey I think I'll do that!! But your still gonna get this one this way too.

very lovely. it has a soothing, calm feeling to it.
i love the ocean.

--
you're all just fucking fools.

Thank you. ^^

Holy crap. o.o LOOOOONG comment from the amazing Olivia!

Well. I'm afraid I can't say *too* much about the story, because it's not something I want to explain. I like to hear what everyone else SAW within it, I mean. I love your comment, I'm glad you looked so deeply into the story! It's interesting to hear your viewpoint, especially since you are so religious, while I am very spiritual.

As for the ocean. See, all of these fairy-tale like stories, the recent things I've added, all have some sort of....basis. In me, I mean. I can't explain it, or at least I *won't* explain it, but that's it. And they all mean some sort of part of me, and that's why they're sort of... abstract. But the ocean is important to me, to life in general, and that's why it's in so many of them. To me, that setting, that gray ocean and gray sky, that's...that's Paradise.

Heh. ^^ Um...that didn't explain much, I know, but I don't...explain things. o.o

But thank you for the wonderful comment!

Thank you!

Never seen one? Where do you live? (If you don't mind my asking, I mean.) I certainly do hope you visit the ocean someday, and if you do, I suggest Long Beach, Washington (USA) or something along the lines of Washington, Alaska, or Canada. Best beaches there, with lighthouses and such...^^

Thank you!

Ah... I love this one. I remember when I first read it. It's really lovely writing... although it makes me feel like I havce lost something, but I don't know what. Beautiful.